Thursday, 21 November 2013

We Interrupt the Festive Cheer --- For This?

Chronicles of KLYE

I stand before you revolutionary, degenerate, broken, an artist.

Some of you may know me, Some of you may not. I am KLYE.
Self proclaimed unofficial moderator. Recently bestowed with a glorious banhammer from none other than the dooglus himself.

Many of you are wondering why I am on this blog, many of you hate me, many of you are my secret lovers... At the end of it at.. I exist merely to entertain.

I am the the founder of Klyecascius Coin Mint LTD. A very specialized company founded early 2013, dealing in the finest and most exquisite rectal based coins on the planet. Having created many magnificent ButtCoins in the early days for the likes of Pirateat40, Mircea Popescu, and Banker.. Everyone knows a company cannot grow and prosper if is does the same old thing all the time..

SparkleCoin was the combined effort of BayAreaCoins and Banker one night helping me brainstorm a new type of coin... Something that could not be mined with ASIC or Sharpies/Pencils... Something that would change the course of both and Bitcoin forever. Late one night it was jokingly said to ramp up my ButtCoin marketability I should use sparklers instead. I could not back down from such an opportunity. SparkleCoin was to be made.

Late one night after waking up AFTER the time I had set on the forums, having spent a week collecting donations and sponsors for sparklers. (as little as .01BTC per a sparkler) I awoke.. Great excitement filled the air.. and fear.. 9 sparklers had been sponsored.. I ended up finding a pen lid and stuffed the 9 sharp pointy tips into it. Putting tape around it to ensure none would slide and do damage to the Klyecascius mint.

I went upstairs to begin my already late live broadcasting, only to find that my roommates at the time were awake (and probably high on meth) and with this made the quick decision to go to my wifi spot to broadcast.. here's the thing about my wifi spot.. It happened to be outside, Outside beside a main roadway here in Brandon and oh so perfectly beside a Church..

Already being extremely late on my broadcast I let out the announcement on JD, 4Chan and Shared the webcam link and it was show time.
I had 22 or so live viewers for this..

I introduced myself as KLYE from Just-Dice and proceeded  to pull down my pants, turning my junk away from the camera knowing that given the cool fall night I was fighting the cold with my staff, so to say. I took the 9 sparkler taped to a pen lid contraption and readied my arsehole.. The pen lid was cold.. Shoved it in my arse anyways, just far enough so that it wouldn't fall out... I then took the lighter in my right hand and began to light the sparklers 1 by 1.. As the first sparkler lit up I felt a rush of glory, and heat for that matter.. It took me about 6 seconds or so to light all the sparklers.. and by the time I had them all lit it was at that point where the heat from the sparklers started running down the sharp metal handles holding them..

The heat from 9 sparklers converging into your ass, let my tell you, is like what I imagine the devil fingering your asshole feels like. I hopped around trying not to burst out in screams.. As the final sparkler just went out I removed the now superheated device from my ass and threw it to the ground. It was over, The first SparkleCoin had been minted.

Upon looking at the webcam chat plenty of people were horrified, some called OP a faggot and some applauded...

In the end, Banker considered it a failure upon me failing to sing "twinkle twinkle little star".. He had initially promised 1 BTC to fund the Sparklecoin minting.. It ended up taking almost a month to get anything out of him. and I think in the end I settled for a 0.5BTC deposit to the Bank of Deb from Banker to cleanse my now crispy burnt arsehole..

With this, concludes Pt.2 of the KLYE saga..

Stay safe everyone,


*any tips for burnt arseholes: 1BurnBNwsTsPWZndB3DyrUhbSa6FkLDtwp

No comments :

Post a Comment